Just let her jump

"Just let her jump."

We were strolling through the gardens of the Chateau de Chantilly and it was our last day in France. My husband said those words after I had repeatedly voiced my concern over the state of my two-year-old daughter's leggings and dress as mud and cold water splashed above her rubber boots. There seem to be a puddle on the garden path every five feet. I stared in frustration as she let out a giggle and jumped both feet first into the next one. I sighed, staring past her towards the picturesque scene behind us. A 14th century home of a French noble family; stone walls, graceful architecture and elegant gates. It was too beautiful to be irritated, yet there I was, wrinkles across my forehead and my lips crooked into a frown as Isabelle splashed into yet another puddle. 

I feel like I spend half my time as a mother cleaning up spills and accidents and rubbing stains out of clothes. Its even worse when you are on a three week trip to Europe with two toddlers. In my defense I was trying to avoid as much mess as possible. But I somehow failed to see the green grass and blue sky and most of all the wonder in my daughter's eyes. She wasn't worried about her clothes or cold water or my feelings on the matter. All she knew was she was free. No one was strapping her into a carseat or holding tightly to her hand or telling her to sit still. She was simply being a child, in all the the glory and wonder of it all. 

As we meandered deeper through the gardens, leaving the chateau behind, I was reminded quite vividly how easily it is to forget beauty amidst worry. I was letting my importance on appearance and comfort take over the deeper meanings of life. We had just spent an entire hour touring one of the most beautiful, historic buildings I've ever visited and within minutes of walking out the exit doors I was worried about minor inconveniences. I forgot the pleasure of my child's heart and focused on the selfishness of my own. Too many times I fixate on everything out of place instead of seeing the depth of richness right below the surface of chaos. As I passed the broken bridges and overgrown statues amongst the garden paths, remnants of the french past, I could hear Isabelle's laughter echoing the trees. She was surrounded by beauty and that was all she saw. Would that I had eyes to see that more often. Would that we all. 

And so she kept jumping, from puddle to puddle, trekking through the mud, her curls askew and her cheeks ruddy red. 

Children are a blessing

I spend every day, every moment with my two little bundles of joy. I change diapers every hour, read books every 30 min, I sing Pooh Bear theme songs before breakfast and after lunch, I nurse constantly, I soothe tears, kisses bruises, wipe dirty noses and doctor rashes; I spend every waking moment and even the sleeping hours thinking and mothering. Some people might say that's exhausting, don't you ever want a break? Its never exhausting and the times I do get out for some free time, I'm always missing them within an hour and can't wait to get back home to them. I can't imagine life without them both. I love being home all day. I love cooking, doing laundry, cleaning, writing (yes I get writing done here and there) and working on DIY projects, like making homeade hand soap. (shout out here to Young Living Essential Oils) I love doing all of this. Its restful, peaceful and so rewarding. And when I think of the fruit of what will bring it is so fully rich of blessing. These two lives that depend so solely on my care  right now could one day impact that world. Instead of overwhelming me, it is humbling. Nurturing the life of human being from the day they are created is beyond the best job and career in life. It has so much farther reaching results than any other career or position in life I can think of.

Every day I treasure because I know these days go fast. Children grow exponentially and these little moments of sweet sighs, little voices and pattering feet don't last forever. I watch as they learn new things every day from first smiles to first sentences. Its likes watching creation being spoken into being. There is glory and peace all wrapped into timeless moments. The blessing of children dictates the atmosphere in a home. Like the first spoken word that was breathed from God's lips, the lives and spirits of children breathe life and a creation of joy within a home. I know this is the fruit of months of prayer and setting our hearts as parents in the right place of receiving them as blessings and speaking the truth of who they are in Christ over them. (I mean literally speaking out verbally the truths of who they are)

People always marvel at the happiness and ease with which both my kids interact with the world. I can't attribute it to good parenting, because I feel like a fail at things every day. It has everything to do with speaking life and not death, refusing to speak the curses of low expectations and stereotypes of them, and instead proclaiming what God has destined them to be. People keep saying: "Well, just wait til she gets a little older or until he starts crawling." She got older folks and its not anywhere close to all your nay-saying. She has a sin nature, not doubt about that, but its not like this big shock. When we work through temper-tantrums or impatience or frustration I never feel like it is wearing me out, mostly because it happens so infrequently. He's not crawling yet of course, but he has been sleeping through the nights since 4 weeks. I honestly don't know how that happened, except that God has surrounded that child with a peace that surpasses all understanding. And I am telling you that comes out of the place of prayer and placing our children in surrender to the Lord's leadership and care. I am seriously selfish and imperfect as a parent and to be blessed with children who are so patient and so easy, seems beyond what I deserve. I keep waiting for something to get hard, something to get seriously challenging, but it only gets better. I don't understand how or why, except that the Lord is good and His mercy endures forever. His promise that children are a blessing is literal and He eagerly and graciously gives when we ask to receive that promise.

I am so thankful and pray that my heart can expand to hold and faithfully care for the good that He gives.

Isabelle Noelle, March 2014

Benjamin Titus, March 2014

Introducing Benjamin Titus Dosa

Born on January 23, 2014

Weighing 9 lbs. 1 oz. 21 in.

Decorating the Tree Photoshoot

Our son is coming!

In 6 short weeks (give or take a few days) we will be welcoming our second child, Benjamin Titus into the world. Times flies, faster than you can blink, literally. It seems like just yesterday I was walking down the aisle to say my vows, and now I'm a mother to two. As the Christmas season speeds into view, welcomed by a blustery ice storm and a three day weekend of cozy time with my family of three, it seems that life couldn't get much better. Between Christmas shopping (aka amazon.com), decorating, crafting, cooking and parenting a 1-year-old whirlwind of energy and excitement, life is full and overflowing with joy and thanksgiving. When our son arrives, it will only cap an already beautiful season of abundance.

We look forward to holding him in our arms and getting to be parents once more to a second blessing from God.