Asking and Receiving

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1


My husband hung up the phone and glanced over at me.

"That was the call you've been praying for."

I blinked trying to remember what he was talking about, "What do you mean?" 

"It was the La Ventana Apartments, they just had an opening."

That single sentence popped through my brain like a firecracker. My lips parted in a grin as we hurried our two toddlers to the car. All I could think was...God, why are you so good?

...

You see, three months ago, my husband and I made a pretty significant transitional decision for our family. At the time we were currently living in a 4 bedroom, 2 bath, large and spacious brick home in one of Abilene, Tx's newest and most family friendly neighborhoods. And we lived there for free. Now before you start asking how does that even happen, let me just remind you if you don't already know that Phil and I have been host parents for international students for the last 3 years. We were blessed to lived in such a home because the organization that brings the students to Texas provided it for us. Needless to say we were comfortable. Finances, though not perfect, were reasonable and looking better each month. We were paying off school debt, we were enjoying the three high school boys we had living with us, and we were only a couple blocks away from our church. Our two kids, ages 1 and 2, though growing out of their small tiny room (which technically was a very large walk-in closet) were happy and content. We completely assumed we'd be living there for at least another year, with more students and our own growing family. 

However, somewhere around mid-march, one of us (I don't remember which) brought up the fact that we actually hadn't prayed about next year and what God's heart was for us. It is the most logical thing to do and yet neither of us had done it yet. So...we sat down that night and did it. As you can imagine God doesn't lead in the ways we expect. Ever. 

It became very clear over the next week, after much prayer, talking with our parents and with our community, that we weren't suppose to to keep hosting students, which therefore meant we wouldn't be living in our house anymore. (which by the way, the organization that owned the house had actually sold it but they didn't tell us till after we had made our decision. So we would have had to move anyway. Doesn't it blow your mind sometimes that God already knows things?)

Anyway, I can tell you all the logical reasons for this decision as well as all the illogical reasons, but none of that matters, because the point was God was calling us into a new season of faith. We were downsizing to an apartment, we were losing income and free housing, but most importantly we were focusing on just our family, our two kids and each other.

So began the search for a new place to live. It was the beginning of April and we only had two months before we had to move out at the end of May. We were thinking we wanted an apartment but we were also open to a rent house and we needed to live within 5 minutes of ACU if at all possible because of Phil's job. Our budget was tight and though it seemed like a small picky thing, we really wanted an apartment with a washer and dryer. (when you use cloth diapers with your kiddos, laundry is a daily thing, not to mention how many pairs of clothing they both go through in a day)

Surprisingly it didn't take us long to find the perfect apartment. It was directly across the highway from our current neighborhood, it was within our price range, within the right distance from ACU, right next to our church still and it had a washer and dryer. It was kind of unreal how perfect.

But, the waiting list had at least 50+ people on it and all the apartments were leased out for the year. I couldn't believe when Phil told me the news. I remember telling him, "We are suppose to live in that apartment. I just know. It's too perfect."

He just shook his head. Obviously we knew there was nothing either of us could do. We moved on to continue the house search, but I started praying, because deep down inside I knew that was the place we were suppose to move to in May. I knew that La Ventana Apartments was our new home.

I've never been one of those name it and claim it type of people, they sometimes annoy me in all honesty, but I have asked God for more opportunities to grow in faith in the past year. And He normally takes you up on your word when you ask for such things. And I felt compelled to ask for this one. I could hear the still quiet voice in my heart, "This is yours, all you have to do is ask."

The apartment complex is right off the highway into town from our neighborhood, so I would drive by it every day. And every time I would pray and ask for divine intervention, even sometimes go so far as to turn into the apartment complex, drive through it.

A month went by and I kept at, much to my husband's growing annoyance. He was afraid I was getting my hopes raised, only to be disappointed. We laugh at this now.

One morning in the middle of the week we were looking at a house to possibly rent. It was very close to ACU, much too large for us and quite far above our budget, but we were considering it, thinking through any way we could afford it and ways we could possibly make it work. I felt slightly despondent. I had lost count of how many apartments and houses we had looked at, how many phone calls I had made and how many different ways we were trying to figure out our finances. Everything had both good and bad qualities and in every place these qualities differed from the one before. It felt like we were always trying to decide between the lesser of two evils.

I had begun to give up on the La Ventana apartments. My prayers were less frequent, my thoughts towards it no longer as hopeful. I wasn't even thinking about it when Phil's phone rang. We were almost finished looking at the house. I honestly had no idea what he was talking about when he said the words, "That was the call you've been praying for."

It all happened so quickly. Apparently someone had to drop out of their lease last minute. Who knew? The apartment manager had called everyone on the waiting list and was telling us all that who ever brought a deposit first would get the apartment. We were literally two minutes away. Within an hour we had put down a deposit and signed the lease.

Perhaps, to some reading this, it doesn't seem that big of deal. A crazy coincidence. Simply luck. Or some may, sheesh, it's just an apartment, don't be so dramatic. But I say, God cares for His children. He cares about our desires and our prayers. And though He is not some magic genie in the sky handing out favors at the drop of a hat and though so many times He does not give us what we want or ask for...sometimes He does. And in those moments, no matter the simplicity or complexity of the request, His goodness can be overwhelming. I immediately wondered the question: why me? Why would You listen to anything I ask for? But never the less, thank you, thank you, thank you!

That's all I could think of for days afterwards. Now, every time I would drive by the apartment complex I would spend the entire 10 seconds thanking God for His provision and for His goodness. And you know what, we love our apartment. We've been living here a month now and have enjoyed every minute of it. From the wood floors, to the granite countertops, to the low rent price and the in-house washer and dryer. It's even on the first floor, whichever for anyone who has small children learning to walk you know is completely necessary. Oh, and did I mention it has a two playgrounds for the kids, a pool (with a kiddie pool attached), a community room for our lifegroup and 24/7 exercise room? Not to mention the entire place is well landscaped, the apartment manager goes to our church and the apartments themselves are just at the edge of the city. I can smell cow manure from the pasture besides us, which I know sounds weird, but makes me feel right at home, since I grew up in the country. Its the small things that God cares about.

I'm not sure if God has something more than just answering a prayer for us living here in this apartment. Maybe we could lead some future revivalist to Christ here or maybe we will create a deep, genuine community of people among the other residents or maybe...it was just lesson in faith, of asking and receiving, of sowing faith and reaping a harvest of favor. I don't know much about the future or what God's will is all time, but I know that He is a good father, who gives good gifts to children and delights in bringing them pleasure. And I am thankful I am His child and grateful for the favor He gives. It a good season to trust His faithfulness and to be reminded that He cares about what we care about often, because He is our creator.

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." - Matthew 6:25-34                                       

Memories

I tiptoed on bare feet to the top of the stairs of my uncle’s two-story house.  I was above the crowded living room where the people were gathered, above the rising swells of rhythmic song. The guitars, the drums and the voices all melted into one single throb of emotion and feeling. The dim lights made my head light with longing and I sank to the carpeted floor to gaze down through the iron bars of the balcony.  The scene below was well-known and comforting. The thoughts, the feelings were as familiar to me as the lines of my smooth palms. Each face in the crowd was precious. My spunky sister, my patient aunt, my beautiful cousin, my gracious best friend...they were all special in each individual way.

Balancing a leather-bound journal in my lap I fingered its worn edges. My body slowly began swaying to the rhythm of the echoing worship below. A black bible lay near my knee. Red tape was stuck across the center. A single word, in black marker was written across the front cover. LIFE. The ‘Word’ was life to me. Life to all those gathered below. It infused life into the words we sang and the prayers we prayed.

I sank into a peaceful mindset of oblivion for yet another Friday night of worship and intercession. It was not only familiar and dear but a part of my very being. The worship never remained the same. The songs would take on a life of their own in the mouths of the singers. The prayers would mingle in between and around and straight through, like a sweeping vortex of passion and gentleness. The paradox could be confusing for an outsider or perhaps very inspiring.

For six hours we would be here, on our faces, on our knees, on our backs and on our feet. I sat, one hand on each knee, still rocking. My eyes slowly closed, letting my spirit connect to heaven...to Jesus. I very rarely felt the tangible ‘presence,’ not like the others. Their testimonies make me yearn for more. Faith, however, is not seeing, but believing. The unseen, the unfelt....that was where truth faith would always be found.

I like to sit on the balcony because I could feel the atmosphere better above it all. Amidst the people, as much as I loved them all, I felt contained. On the balcony there was freedom. My hand fell to the open journal in my lap. The words written one thise dog-eared pages were the longings of an eighteen-year-old dreamer...an idealist...or maybe a girl full of hope. I could feel on these pages, live on these pages, and become something more real than anything here on earth. In these pages I could be what I was created to be....a worshipper of God. My written words were prayers...prayers for the needy, for the broken and the destitute. Every word was like breath back to heaven.  

I breathed deeply and opened my eyes, now staring out above the living room, through the open bay windows, out into my uncle’s urban neighborhood, past the shadows of the tilting roofs and into the glowing warm lights of the city. Out there was what this was all about. People. Hearts. Life. They needed Jesus, just as desperately as every one needed Him, as everyone in this room needed Him.  Prayer was our move of war, our move of action, our most violent hope.  

Justice.

The Lord's eyes are searching to and fro throughout the earth, looking for someone who would cry out and contend for His justice. His heart is burning to find those who will be broken for His mercy concerning the oppressed and those whose voices of have been silenced. He desires to release voices of ones crying in the wilderness, to set the captives free and proclaim the coming of the Lord. He is establishing a throne firmly set in righteousness and justice. He will bring salvation to those who cry out to Him. He will answer the steadfastness of the watchmen and answer their hearts that are fixated on mercy.

Run after Him who holds the heavens in His hand, who has the power and authority of restoring everything and everyone to fullness and beauty. Hold fast to what you have been entrusted with. Proclaim truth into the places of darkness. Reveal the hidden treasures, release understanding into the hearts of men of who God is and how His hearts longs for them.
Pursue a spirit of compassion and justice. Whisper against the violence and watch it crumble, shout against silent lies, see them destroyed!